I have a friend who is involved with a married man. She’s married and openly poly, he’s married and not openly poly because the wife would go bonkers (so the friend says).

So I find myself treading along a line with this friend – telling her that what she’s doing is being the accessory to cheating, and an affair, and the wife of the second couple is known to be a loose canon. Her husband has tried to leave her before, but has always been dragged back, and there has been some physical violence.

Luckily for me, or so she says, they’re friends and nothing more. I have had a hard time believing it, because these two are like moths and flames – they’re drawn to each other and can’t keep their hands off what they shouldn’t be touching.

Herein we have lesson one with poly – it’s not poly unless all parties know and consent. If your partner won’t consent it’s either suffer or change your  life by changing your partner. Not the easiest or most recommended thing to do, but neither is cheating or being the other woman.